


"You did what?"

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: firewhiskeyfic, Ficlet, Humor, Interspecies Relationship(s), Multi, Object Insertion, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29637354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154
Summary: Luna can't believe what Harry's been up to. And vice versa, honestly.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	"You did what?"

**Author's Note:**

> No idea what the hell this is. But yay firewhisky! Written for **firewhiskeyfic**. I've only corrected the glaring typos. You can read in the original, in all its drunken glory, [here](https://firewhiskeyfic.dreamwidth.org/44993.html).
> 
> **Challenge/Prompts used:** Dirigible plum and (barely) awkward first date

"Harry?" Luna called out. She knew he was in the house but where?

She walked through the living room, kitchen, and headed toward the stairs. She heard a rhythmic thumping and pulled her wand.

When she got to the top of the stairs, she could see the bedroom door was open and she approached slowly. 

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her: Harry was naked, bobbing along the ceiling.

"Is it upside down day?" she asked after watching him for a few moments. She couldn't help staring at his lovely penis, so hard and drippy.

"Er, Luna," Harry said, his face bright red. "I dropped my wand."

She looked around but didn't see it. "Have you tried Summoning it?"

Harry groaned and shivered. "Magic's a bit wonky at the moment."

"Did you want to tell me why you're floating on the ceiling?" Luna asked, turning her head until she could see his face right-side up. 

"My wand, Luna, please," Harry said, breathlessly. "I feel a bit faint."

"Accio Harry's wand!" Luna said and it came flying from the staircase. "Oh, must have rolled out of the room."

She handed him the holly wand and watched as he cast a spell toward his arse and then slowly his body was lowered. 

"Harry." Luna blinked. "Did you use a dirigible plum as a butt plug?"

"A what?" Harry blushed halfway down his chest.

"A dirigible plum. Daddy has a tree outside the house, I was going to make plum wine with them."

If Harry could have got redder, he would have. "You might be short a couple," he said. 

"You used two? Are you a size queen?"

"Luna!" Harry said scandalized. "Maybe," he added softly.

Luna sat down beside him on the bed and patted his thigh. "You should talk to Hagrid or maybe Firenze."

Harry only stared at her. 

"What? Our first date was awkward but Firenze is a perfect gentleman and he's huge." She sighed dreamily.


End file.
